"Think God Is A Quilter"
author unknown

I think God is a quilter who takes His needle and thread
To piece our world from nothingness and give it form, instead.

I think God is a quilter and everything I see,
Are pieces from His careful hand from tree to bumblebee.

I think we see God's stitches and His textures everywhere;
The velvet moss, the grainy sand and the silky strands of hair.

I think God is a quilter stitching tight and tiny rows,
Adding to my scraps and pieces, seaming everything He knows.

I think he cuts the patterns from what I've throw away.
He shows me how to use each scrap in His redeeming way.

I think God quilts a pattern from everything I live;
But he can only stitch the quilt from what I choose to give.

I think God is a quilter stitching strength where I am weak.
Showing me that life He touches embraces everything I seek.

I think God is a quilter from the patience in each thread;
Proving the length of time no barrier treating time a gift, instead.

I think quilts are lessons God uses just to teach,
That our pieces and our remnants have kaleidoscopic reach.

So, in the life I'm living with pieces every-where;
I'll give them to the Quilter to stitch with loving care.

I'll give them to the Quilter unworthy though they be
And with His work of quilting he'll make a quilt of me.

~~~

Scientific Study Reveals Hypnotizing Effect

A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts.

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food), therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a
select few of breed of women known as 'quilters'.

When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants 'buy me, cut me, sew me!".   In order to overcome the so-called 'feeding frenzy effect' that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WW2 army gas masks and headphones!).  Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population.  They are  called FABRIC STORE CLERKS.

It's also been my experience that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret these fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for a while".

(Originally published in August 1997 in the Western North Carolina Quilters Guild Newsletter)